A Quote and a Story

I've got nicotine stains on my fingers
I've got a silver spoon on a chain
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains
I've got wild staring eyes
I've got a strong urge to fly
But I've got nowhere to fly to
. -Pink Floyd




There was a man who lived for years in agony because his memories felt more real than his present life. His impressions of the past were so immediate that to him his life seemed dull and murky in comparison. He slipped into depression because he spent his life wishing for those moments when he would pass into the other realm, recalling those impressions of his past life. Then one day he walked to the edge of a cliff, pondering the abyss before him. As he was about to slip silently into his memory, the ground crumbled and gave way beneath his feet. Suddenly he was falling, and the rock tumbled around him, plummeting with him a thousand feet toward the ground below. He was weightless, and the wind turned into colors and stung at his face. He could hear every piece of rock crumble as they broke apart in midair around him, his heart raced and his spine tingled as he sensed the sensation of complete freedom combined with sheer terror. At the same moment that he saw the ground rushing up at him, he realized that this was the most alive he had ever felt, more than any memory in his near or distant past. He shouted gleefully in the impossible energy that he felt, and then...

He woke up.

The 10th Kingdom

"My name is Virginia, and I live on the edge of a forest. Well, sort of."

Alright. I recently re-watched the epic 7-hour miniseries "The 10th Kingdom", and I realized a few things about myself, and about the things that I love. But first, about the show:

"The 10th Kingdom" is about a girl named Virginia from New York who lives with her father in an apartment on the edge of Central Park, completely unaware that a magic mirror from a parallel world of fairy tales has opened up in the park. While Virginia is on her way to work, the portal opens up and she is greeted headlong by a number of characters from the other world. Through a series of unfortunate events, so to speak, she and her father end up in this fairytale world, but most unfortunately of all, it lands them right in the middle of the Snow White Memorial Prison.

This other world is essentially the world of Grimm's fairy tales, only 200 years have passed since the 'Golden Age' of Cinderella, Snow White, Red Riding Hood, etc, etc. Snow White's great grandson, Prince Wendell, has been turned into a dog so that his evil step-mother, the wicked witch, can destroy the 9 kingdoms of that land and declare herself queen. Virginia must discover her destiny and try to make it back safely to her home in the '10th kingdom' Along the way they meet a half-wolf played by the amazing Scott Cohen, Acorn the Dwarf played by my favorite little person, Warrick Davis, and a myriad of other fantastical characters.

It is a tale of epic proportions, but possibly the most amazing thing is that it maintains a humorous tone throughout, and strikes a perfect balance between dramatic character development and very funny and witty comedy. From magic mushrooms to tooth fairies to barbaric trolls to a town full of Little Bo Peep's descendents, and my personal favorite, the witch's Huntsman played by Rutger Hauer, the story has many twists and turns, and no matter where you stop it for a break, it always leaves you wanting to watch more.

But now that I've written my little review, I want to talk about what it means to me personally. I first watched this miniseries when I was in high-school. I borrowed it from a friend who had it on VHS because it looked intriguing, and as soon as I popped in the first tape, I was spellbound. But it wasn't till I recently re-watched it (my third complete viewing) that I realized it's impact on me. I usually cite George Lucas' masterful Star Wars films for inspiring me to want to create fun, enjoyable entertainment with psychological undertones and epic character development. But the 10th Kingdom, while slightly more jocular, accomplished this in a completely different world, yet in many ways, just as amazing as watching Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia, and just as magical (only now in the literal sense). As a movie maker, These type of movies are what I live for, and someday hope to create myself.

I could go on forever, but suffice to say I hold this miniseries in the highest regards, and recommend it for anyone interested in entertaining, brilliant and epic stories. I hope someday I get the chance to tell a story like the 10th Kingdom, and inspire others in the same way.

That is all.


"You're cold. You're cold, Virginia. How did you become so cold? You are still lost in the forest. But lonely, lost girls like us can rescue themselves. You are standing on the edge of greatness."

RANDOM PICTURE TIME

A Poem for the 20th Century Man Stuck in the 21st Century

When you're stuck in a hole
and you've no where to stay
and the light isn't on
to show you the way

when there's no more to try
and there's none left to kiss
on the road that's less traveled
there is no more than this

to be left all alone
with a pen in your hand
and the flag on the mailbox
has no place to stand

so it glides through the mirror
with a triumphant cry
and you beg to escape
from the screams and the sighs

but the bog keeps on lickin'
the rope keeps on slippin'
the mist is a-blowin'
the water is drippin

from the cup of your mind
too broken to fill
and if you cannot fill it
insanity will

so your consciousness slumps
and your eyesight implodes
into eight burrowed tunnels
where your confidence froze

so you drift into vapor
and sink into sand
where your breath disappears
in the palm of your hand.

If there's one thing to take away from life it's the socks they give out on airlines, because it's the one thing they won't ask for back.


by Kevin Christensen

I had a Pony, her name was Lucifer...

I have decided to change the name of my blog.

Mainly I think this is because I despise stagnation, but I think a little of this may be a result of my scrambled brain due to my recent trip to Bryce Canyon (awesome as it was, It was still more than a little brain-scrambling). Indeed, I have only been back an hour, and I think the 9000 foot elevation change has really gone to my head.

But if one thing is clear, it's that I had a pony, and her name was Lucifer. So, without a moment's hesitation, I renamed my blog and have set forth with a resolution to post more frequently than before. Which shan't be difficult, admittedly.

This new blog will be more open for me to talk about whatever I want to, and thus create more chaos amongst all my two readers, and cause them to mubble and gander through the wabe. For that I apalogilolicize.

But I digress. As you may have guessed, the thing that's on my mind right now is a song called "New Pony" from Bob Dylan's 'Street Legal' album. It is a fantastically awesome rockin' tune and all two of you readers should check it out here immediately.

"She broke her leg and she needed shooting
I swear it hurt me more than it could ever have hurted her."

Mad as a hatter.

A little something for the fans...

Quarterlife: A Slave to 2 Masters

"Someone told me long ago theres a calm before the storm,
I know; its been comin' for some time.
When its over, so they say, it'll rain a sunny day,
I know; shinin' down like water.
I want to know,
Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?"

-John Fogerty

Internet entertainment isn't going away. I'd wager that in less than five years no one will watch television any more, at least not as we know it now. Everything we watch, everything we do will be ported through our internet cables and delivered directly and instantaneously to our fingertips.

But right now no one seems to get it. Writers are afraid because they like the old way of telling stories and filmmakers are afraid because they don't understand the audience and studios are afraid because they don't know how to make money off of it, and they squirm at the idea of their shows being in the hands of 'internet hackers' and 'pirates.'

So light of all that, it is actually quite admirable for someone like Marshall Herskovitz, creator of "My So Called Life" and "Thirtysomething," two successful shows on network television, to leave the comfort of his old stomping grounds and blaze his own trail in the jungle of internet entertainment. It was called 'Quarterlife.' It was a show about 25 year-olds trying to figure out their lives after college.

Quarterlife was made with a television budget (albeit a small budget compared to other TV shows) and was made with the purpose of gathering an audience online, with the hopes of being picked up by a TV network. It did considerably well online, and sure enough, NBC decided to air in on primetime and 'give it a chance.'

Two days ago, it premieres on NBC, and when the ratings came in, it didn't just get poor ratings. it was the worst rated show in the last 10 YEARS. So, after one episode, the execs pulled the plug, and ushered the show over to Cable television. Looks like it internet and TV just don't mix.

That is, if anyone still believes in the Nielsen Rating System anymore... Basically if you aren't familiar with how TV ratings work, they take a 'representative sample' of 5,000 people and monitor what they watch to determine what is being watched on the other 99 million televisions in the country.

But let's look at what it's problems were. I think first of all, the show is structured like a soap opera. But unlike television soaps it only had 8 minutes to get you to care for the characters, and then it stopped again. Herskovitz' answer to this dilemma seemed to be to increase the emotional levels of all the characters to make up for lack of time. As a result, the characters are crying about their problems before you even care about them.

Then there's the whole video blogging aspect of the show. the main character has a video blog, but the show only used that blog cam perspective for less than a quarter of it's running time, so the web audience can never truly buy that they are real people actually blogging. Then bring this show to TV, and everyone who isn't an avid internet user (see: older age range) does not identify with what they are doing, and they just shut it off.

So it's alienation on both fronts. instead of spanning the gap, the show just seemed like it was made for neither audience. That combined with the fact that anyone who DID love the show had already seen it by the time it premiered on NBC, so they didn't watch it, depriving it of any hope of good ratings.

Let this be a lesson to anyone making entertainment: know your audience. Especially if you are creating something that is specific for your audience, you need to know who you are dealing with. Especially if you are going to produce content for the web. And pretty soon, the web will be the only place to get entertainment. There's a storm coming, are you ready for the rain?

Kevin